Friday, 15 August 2008

Coming Home...


How time flies!

I can still recall that day, when I threw open the door to your heart and walked out, not looking back. I still hear your silent sobs as they trailed each step I took away from you and in the distance; I hear your still small voice calling out for me, calling out my name. I battled with the surging emotion that was beginning to build into a climax, leaving my eyes clouded with tears but somehow, I found the courage to walk away… blinded by my obsessions, your silent sobs I ignored!

You were my first love!

Like a tender plant you nurtured our love from childhood to maturity and I watched as our union blossomed with age and time. I can still remember that day when you look me in the eyes and said, “I know someday you would leave me but never forget that I will always be here waiting for you”. I never really took those words seriously because you were my definition of perfection and I could never imagine a life without you.

However, at a point in life, I started probing and asking questions. I got tired of the norm. I got tired of doing the same thing all over again! I wanted something new. I got tired of being told what to do and how to do it. I needed to express my individuality! At that point, I knew I was drifting away from you but I couldn’t help it because it was what I wanted! Something in me longs to be free - to be me. Thus began my quest for an existence outside the norm.

Seven years down this road and my regret lingers still! Seven years of doing it my way and living the life I have always wanted to live. Seven years of vanity, a greater part of which is spent in trying to be better but not getting any better than I am. Seven years of pains and misery, though not without its lessons, learnt in the most cruel manner – experience. For what pleasure lies in that ancient bottled death-trap consumed by many, making a fool of the wisest of counsel or the making of a chimney out of a man? Is it those fleeting high moments of orgasm or those transitory tingling of ejaculation which leaves us drained, limb, exhausted and lesser than a man? Tell me, do they all last forever? What last forever?

I am done trying to do it on my own! How could I have thought I could do it without you? I have been out there where the frost bites so hard at night and life does not get any warm. I have been there where the sun burns fiercely at dawn and nothing can shed one from the scorching sun! But in you, I have found life’s long lost harmony; in you I found balance. As I trail these almost fading tracks back home, I know you would be waiting for me at the gate but one thing I ask from your Lord, “don’t ever let me leave your presence again”.

29 comments:

Today's ranting said...

Hmmm so deep. Sometimes we stray away from God's presence in the bid to find some worldly love which seems attractive but not fulfilling. God has given us the ultimate love even though we are sometimes oblivious to this fact.He will always welcome us when we finally realize our mistakes.

archiwiz said...

Beautiful.....

Olamild said...

OMG

You are such a fine writer!
I just want to stel this post and write a song out of it...hmmm

Olamild said...

steal*

Aphrodite said...

You'd be lucky to find her waiting and if you do dammy,dont ever...i say don't ever leave again!!!

WeirdGurl said...

OMG! I thought you were actually talking about a girl till I read the last part.
You write beautifully and express yourself well.
It could pass as a love note/poem.

Beyond said...

hmmn! thought worthy....am happy you realised aw you 've strayed away from the right path and its great you are finding your way back before its too late.

Great post tho.

OluwaDee said...

"I have been out there where the frost bites so hard at night and life does not get any warm."

What lasts forever????

Dammy, you have witten this so beautifully well.

Parakeet said...

Ah...my heart don black finish. Look at me thinking u wrote that for a babe. Lord forgive me.

I must confess Dammy you blow me away with ur talent. Damn! You guys in Nija must show me the way o. Aloofar and co.

I'm well o, hope you ok!

Tears said...

u are out of the "norm" now, u are free...and u shall fly places!!
couldn't have been said any better, bee-U-tee-FULL!!

remain blessed xx

Lady Koko said...

WOW!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!! ENCORE!!!!!!!!!! this was just tooo beautifully written......MAKES ME WANNA OPEN A NEW BLOG.....AND PEN MY INNERMOST FEELING MEHNNN..
P.S:xoxo

Buttercup said...

wow dammy....that was pure genius..

Onyeka Nwelue said...

You have the superb way of handling your tone! Welldone!

Hunter girl said...

THAT WAS BLOODY FANTASTIC!!!!!
was moved from the first word!!!...is this a true story? If it is, was she there waiting? Half way through i was so mad at you (LOL). I was like ..'ehen...typical man...wanting to chase dragon flies that dont exist'..but then as i continued reading i felt sorry for you...anyhooo....well done!!

isha said...

That's amazing!!! Great job with this piece of work.

Omosewa said...

Hmmm, important words.

My brother,very soon, maybe in 2yrs, i'll be 17 once again, for now i'm loving 16...LOL.

AlooFar said...

well done.

BrownSugar said...

my thoughts were "hmmm! loverboy dammy" until i read the concluding part. Beautiful expression!

Standtall said...

Ah, thanks for making me think you broke a gal's heart. Nice!!!

Rita Esuru Okoroafor said...

Oooooo.... So touching. This is beautiful Dammy.

Surely, the best place to be is in the presence of the Lord. HIS love is everlasting.

LG said...

applause!!!!!!
well written dami,
u deserve a hug, oya 'take' :)


lol@aphrodite,
o gal, u sure say u read d 'post' finish???? *giggles*

badderchic said...

first time here.

tew nice.

Debbie said...

Very nicely said. Thanks for another thought provoking post.

Anonymous said...

LOVED IT!!

So beautifully written, so..I could go on forever..lol.

Im sure he is glad you've returned.

princesa said...

Dude, you killed it with this post!
We should do some sturves together for real.

Been a while, how body?

Kin'shar said...

I just keep reminiscing the words " I know someday you would leave me but never forget that I will always be here waiting for you". Neva realizing that some day...after all I've done that he would be here still waiting on me.

I have turned my back on him for too long, and I am glad to say that I know I still love him....and God still loves me too! It's neva too late to ask for forgiveness and turn your life around. No matter the obstacle, or trying times...God will see you through and walk with you.

Take care sweets, glad to see you found balance. There are things that WILL last forever, and I'm sure you would know it once it is presented to you. ^_^

Tairebabs said...

wow! And there I was thinking this was about some girl, a breakup, regret. Dammy this was wonderful.

Tairebabs said...

By the way am so feeling your playlist.

Olufunke said...

intersting.......I am always grateful to God for the word that
NOTHING would ever seperate me from God's love, he would always keep loving me.......no matter what!

ITs always good coming back home, to the one that loves us most!