Thursday, 12 February 2009

Before I die...

Please read Murderous Intentions before you read this post.

Dear SHE,

I bleed.

In my hand is a gun, pointing to my head. In my heart is the dagger of words, buried between those bulging halves that beat with life. What hand drives the handle? What venom rides on the wings of words, tearing by heart apart? Waiting for that moment, that sacred moment when all becomes still and life becomes but a drifting lullaby fading with each seconds. Then we wake on the other side, if there be any. Either way, I am a dead man!

But before I am declared another feast for famished worms, let me break this sullen silence whose clouds are beginning to gather. Let me, on this platform unearth a maze of events that time has failed to heal. For who knows, in death, I might find my life’s long quest. And who knows what great benefit this revelation would in its rising tide, accomplish.

I have wronged you.
I am as guilty as charged. In this court of conscience, I have been found guilty. I have caused you much pain and in death would I not cause you more, if I by your hand kiss this world goodbye? Would human laws not find you guilty? And even if you escape the short hands of the law, can you escape the ever vibrant court of conscience? If forgiveness be far from you, then let me die, not by your hands, but let me with my own hands, end this miserable life of mine. For I do not wish to cause your healing heart more pains.

One more thing before I become history.

Is it true that a part of me -a part of us, now grows in you? If this be true, then my heart fails me. My hands no more can pull the trigger. My heart bleeds the more for that innocent life who would soon be rendered fatherless. This innocent soul who knowing no wrong would have to pay for a sin she never committed. I wish things were different. I wish I could give her the happiness she so deserve. I wish…

One thing I ask even if I don't deserve it but for the sake of what we shared, never make her a part of this sour tale.

I wonder what you would you tell her about me? What if she finds out that her beloved mother, murderered her father? What if…?

Better I end this tragic tale now!




Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

That was a very becoming letter to someone that you love so much.... I could only have imagined that John really loves the woman of his life. It takes a real man to announce his wrongs. I hope she forgave him :)

Hows my sweetie?

zara (my alter ego) said...

hmm.. r u trying ur hand at fiction writing?/ that was a rather powerful renidition.. short as it was.. i still felt the emotion behind the words.. well done!

zara (my alter ego) said...

ohh!! got it now! wow..

StandTall-The Activist said...

Hmmmmm. What can I say?

wordmerchant said...

ooh i hope SHE forgave John before he tops himself

Very nice piece.

SHE said...

Nice post.

what can i say?


quite powerful. Was he forgiven?

Parakeet said...

Hmm..powerful as usual. Difficult to swallow I must say.

How've u been?

mike said...

nice letter, but it makes you give it a second read. complex and interesting. lovely

Afronuts said...

tales of tragic love. I hate when someone committs suicide becuz of it the end of the world?

when life closes one chapter it opens another.

he should get a life not a gun!

doug said...

Everyone wants to know if he was forgiven. I hope he was too.

However I think suicide on account of love is weakness.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Geebee said...

Tragic! Admitting one's wrong is just good enough but no matter how bad, ending one's life would never atone for sins committed against a fellow being or lover. Now ending it all takes a lot of courage. I've often called people who commit suicide cowards but really, it takes a lot of guts and courage to stab your belly with that knife, pull that trigger, swallow that poison . . . end it all.

Kafo said...

was on The Activist page and fell in love with your interview

will be back

this is
this is something else oooooooooo

CaramelD said...

Came here cos of Standtall's interview. I have goosebumps.........

Buttercup said...

Lol @ Afronuts and can make one do unbelievable things!

Great write up dude..

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

I love your write ups
they are always so emotional
is this someone whose 'heart died'
or someone who committed suicide

Olufunke said...

Very interesting, but not happy story.
You write very well.

I hoep she didnt kill him, I hope they both lived to take care of thier child, I hope he got forgiveness?....I am wondering or hoping for too much abi?