I crumble afterwards like a pack of cards on my bed, trying to escape to that world where the mind ceases to wander and the heart ancient cadence becomes like the tender lullaby, tippling from mother's soothing vocal chord, whose rhythm has become my definition of serenity.
I battled to halt the heart mindless soliloquies, for in such moments of quietude, the mind becomes disentangled from the trappings of life and is ferried on the fluffy wings of the unseen chariot of slumber. However, like a beehive, endless thoughts swarm around my head; inspired by the music constantly playing in my heart...
the lyrics shot into my consciousness like an arrow from Cupid's bow. And like a spell from Harry Potter's wand, yesterday stood right before me! But, the music played on...
"How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
outweigh the bad..."
Mixed emotions from my past reeled backward like a movie in an incoherent manner. Memories of days gone by, faces and phases of life - scenes from my past coming to life! I relish in the innocence of my childhood. A childhood that reminds me of of the true worth of making sacrifices and to love unconditional in the midst of want, pains, hunger and cold. Yet, the song played on...
"I thought we would get to see forever
But forever's gone away..."
That innocence that makes childhood a bliss has gradually drifted away, absorbed in the current of life; withering like a tender plant whose root has lost its grip. But here I am, lost in the frenzy of nostalgia, on this lone path called life. And once again, the song echoes...
"I don't know where this road
is going to lead
All I know is where we have been
And what we have been through..."
I frown at the seeming endless attack on yesterday by some greedy motivational preachers who feed on the meagre earnings of the poor whose search for hope have made them vulnerable to the antics of such wolfs, parading as sheep! "Yesterday is dead!" "Yesterday is meaningless to your destiny!" "Yesterday is a waste!" They speak their fears - their past. But they have forgotten that our interpretation of today is subject to the vagaries of individual experience with the past - yesterday. For how do we learn to appreciate today, if we forget the memories of yesterday? If we live all day for tomorrow, who knows if tomorrow may never come...who knows! And the song played again...
"If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it is worth the wait..."
The beauty and innocence of childhood, the inexplicable and inextricable bond among family members, the joy of going through pains and hunger together, the numerous quibbles among friends, the hurt and betrayals, those elusive moments that take our breath away and those moments that witnessed our watery pains, the enlightenment of education and life's greatest lessons learnt in chalk-less classrooms! Above all, the joy of of finding a soul mate and miracle of childbirth...And the music played one last time...
"I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday..."
What does yesterday mean to you?
Listen to the song "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday" By BoyZ II men